Despite the assumption that "notable" manor homes primarily exist in the United Kingdom and France, the world's most prestigious manor home is located in the United States. At the southernmost point of Wildcat Run, in the golfing village of Panther Creek, lies the pristine grounds of Wildcat Manor.
As a favorite getaway of the legendary University of Kentucky coach, Adolph Rupp, Wildcat Manor is highly revered for its spectacular views, unrivaled cuisine, serene tranquility, and southern hospitality.
Numerous scenes from the movie "Casablanca", in which Humphrey Bogart portrayed the notorious 'Rick Blaine' were actually filmed in the Champion's Hall of Wildcat Manor. Purportedly, Mr. Bogart enjoyed his first taste of the legendary Kentucky bourbon, Maker's Mark, in the Champion's Hall. Coincidentally, Caywood Ledford, the greatest announcer in the history of University of Kentucky basketball, often enjoyed a morning glass of fresh-squeezed Kentucky tobacco juice in the shadows of Mr. Bogart's steps through Champion's Hall.
To the bewilderment of many collegiate researchers, the morning dew at Wildcat Manor is reputedly more rejuvenating than Ponce De Leon's fountain of youth. Ashley Judd, the renowned Hollywood actress (and loyal UK Basketball fan), relaxes, practices new-age yoga, and rejuvenates exclusively in the majestic evergreen labyrinth of Wildcat Manor. Interestingly, many locals insist that she is the only soul that can even find this elusive labyrinth.
The spectacular gardens, adjacent to the stables, have been a favorite invigoration of the spirits among the many generations of UK Blue Nation visitors.
However, it is entirely possible that all of this baloney is attributable to my delusions of grandeur. Go figger.
Nevertheless, perhaps you would like to spend a luxurious night in the "Breeder's Cup Room". For only $16,900/night (plus tax and bourbon fees), you too can pamper yourself in the footsteps of Adolph Rupp, Ashley Judd, Humphrey Bogart, The Flying Elvi, and Pocohantas. Imagine yourself, bathed in the luxury of Champions... enjoying all of the (%100 organic Kentucky squirrel) burgoo granola bars you can eat (complimentary with advance-pay) For more information, please send a big wad of cash. We look forward to serving your family, business group, or 'significant other' alpacas.
IMPORTANT: Please call soon, as tickets are in short supply for our upcoming group trip to Ireland. Please do not call Wildcat Manor in regards to which Ireland. Again, as we stated in the newsletter, this is NOT the Ireland of planet Earth. We only travel to genuine 555-STAR destinations. This genuine inter-galactic trip is destined for Ireland, Moon. Pack your bouncy shoes!!!!
DISCLAIMER: My cats, Newton and Mars, nor any current or former member of the SCO (Stray Cat Organization) endorse this nonsense. It goes without mention that my lovely wife does not in any way, form, or fashion endorse any of this crap. Any such representation to the contrary is, and shall be construed as, comical party fodder.